OK, so THANK YOU ANKA! My bestest buddy in the whole world (well, except for Danny of course hehe) talked to me last night and shared with me this awesome website called Christianity.com. Just this morning I added 2-3 devotionals to my e-mail list (after signing up of course,) signed up for Bible in a Year and read my first three chapters this morning, and also posted on their forums for young adults (all of us lost 20-somethings needing a place to go LOLS!)
I am just so happy and giddy right now I wanna just go crazy lol! I don't think I have felt this good in a while, and I am just so happy! I think I am totally ready for God to just take hold of me and run off in every direction at once! xD I wanna feel this way EVERY DAY! Now, I just have to pray that Danny finds this same joy and exhilaration someday =] I pray that he will, and I pray that God will continue to move in my life like this every single day! I don't wanna lose this feeling ever!
I just wanna pray for everyone today that you all find everlasting joy, and that should anything get in the way of that joy, that you will have the strength to just shrug it off and overcome it with the power of God at your side! Blessings everybody! Have an awesome day!!
<3
The LORD is my light and my salvation -- whom shall I fear? The LORD is the stronghold of my life -- of whom shall I be afraid?
Psalm 27:1 (New International Version)
Monday, August 31, 2009
Friday, August 28, 2009
STRESS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Yeah...so the first few days after school let out I have already been covered in stress. I hate it. Danny is driving me crazy (bless his heart i love the boy but I am going totally nuts...) and im trying to make sure i have stuff for next term settled since it starts in 2 weeks, and every time i say i dont want extra work days i get them. lol...i guess i kinda need them but i am just sick to death of ALWAYS having something to do! plus, money is getting on my nerves. Everyone i talk to seems to be doing something i want to do and it always involves money....money i definitely do not have. >.> I guess in the grand scheme of things, life isn't all THAT bad...but I just really desire a vacation from everything and everyone....I think the only way i will get that is if I win the Lotto, give Danny 80 percent of it to put into Forex and ill take the rest to shop with, go on a spa vay cay with and do every activity i could ever imagine doing. lolol. yeah...that would be awesome but 99.99999999999998% unlikely lol. meh.
im at work now...and by Gods grace i got the net tonight!! YIPPIE!!! Happy is sleeping, and the night is going well so far. Working again tomorrow night and sunday night so it will be a busy weekend for me as usual...but at least this time i dont have any homework to do! WOOT!
OK kids, keeping this short tonight. my comp works only in an obscure spot for the net and it is hard to type for too long so that's it for me!! Loves!!
<333 Peace and Blessings kids ;)
If anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!
2 Corinthians 5:17 (New International Version)
im at work now...and by Gods grace i got the net tonight!! YIPPIE!!! Happy is sleeping, and the night is going well so far. Working again tomorrow night and sunday night so it will be a busy weekend for me as usual...but at least this time i dont have any homework to do! WOOT!
OK kids, keeping this short tonight. my comp works only in an obscure spot for the net and it is hard to type for too long so that's it for me!! Loves!!
<333 Peace and Blessings kids ;)
If anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!
2 Corinthians 5:17 (New International Version)
Saturday, August 15, 2009
motivation fails me
Hey peeps!
Not too much going on since my last post. Just trying to get up off my butt and get some things done although this has been very hard for me. I just cannot get myself motivated to do/finish things. I know it needs to be done, but just can't get myself to do it. Danny says things like: Well, just do it then. Yeah, he doesn't have to do it so it's easy for him to say isn't it??
It sucks being so busy some times that when you finally get time off sorta everything just kinda goes by the wayside and ceases to get done. At least I can say that couple things have gotten done. I straightened up the house a *tiny* bit...and I mean tiny! It seemed like a lot though, but this place needs a complete overhaul, and not one I am willing to sacrifice my free time for. lols. Tonight though, we took the new desk (that I got from my bro a couple days ago,) and rearranged the living room to accommodate both the old and new desk. The old desk was originally mine, so I get that one (even though it IS broken...) and Danny has the new one. It's fine though because I am happy with the space I have in mine. I have room for my laptop and space to spread out my school books so I can study. ^^ I dusted it, threw stuff out, and reorganized it! It's so pretty now. ^^
I guess I really need to work on my self discipline. still working on the anger too (which is my biggest vice I think,) but over the last couple days it hasn't been too too bad.
I don't really have too much more to talk about... things have been pretty uneventful lately. Just trying to stay busy and keep up with my work. which hasn't been easy either. I can't wait until school is out -.-
Love you guys!!! May God bless you all! <3333
"I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world."
John 16:33
(New International Version)
Not too much going on since my last post. Just trying to get up off my butt and get some things done although this has been very hard for me. I just cannot get myself motivated to do/finish things. I know it needs to be done, but just can't get myself to do it. Danny says things like: Well, just do it then. Yeah, he doesn't have to do it so it's easy for him to say isn't it??
It sucks being so busy some times that when you finally get time off sorta everything just kinda goes by the wayside and ceases to get done. At least I can say that couple things have gotten done. I straightened up the house a *tiny* bit...and I mean tiny! It seemed like a lot though, but this place needs a complete overhaul, and not one I am willing to sacrifice my free time for. lols. Tonight though, we took the new desk (that I got from my bro a couple days ago,) and rearranged the living room to accommodate both the old and new desk. The old desk was originally mine, so I get that one (even though it IS broken...) and Danny has the new one. It's fine though because I am happy with the space I have in mine. I have room for my laptop and space to spread out my school books so I can study. ^^ I dusted it, threw stuff out, and reorganized it! It's so pretty now. ^^
I guess I really need to work on my self discipline. still working on the anger too (which is my biggest vice I think,) but over the last couple days it hasn't been too too bad.
I don't really have too much more to talk about... things have been pretty uneventful lately. Just trying to stay busy and keep up with my work. which hasn't been easy either. I can't wait until school is out -.-
Love you guys!!! May God bless you all! <3333
"I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world."
John 16:33
(New International Version)
Tuesday, August 11, 2009
Oi....
Yeah...so...It's been forever I know! I am so sorry guys. I really have been busy lately. School has taken a lot of my free time (facebook is only in the background guys I promise lol...besides, it's a good break for me ;] )
I know that lately I have been battling major stress and frustration, and it's starting to bring out my anger more and more. This I an actively trying to work on now. Only God can help me through that.
For those of you who were following me when I started this blog know it was intended to be a 40-day challenge to improve my faith in Christ (which I KNOW can't always be done in 40 days, but it was a good start for my self-discipline). As you can see, I sorta failed this part lol... in blogging and in my life. This stuff is NOT easy for anyone who thinks it is (unless of course you have a pastor/drill sergeant type dude screaming in your face all day every day ^^).
I DO know that since I have been away I have conquered my fear of boats ^^ YAY! For those of you who don't know I'll explain:
when I was a freshman in high school, my dad and I really enjoyed fishing together--even since I was a kid growing up in Virginia--it was just the way our family spent time together. Well, we wanted to go on a deep sea fishing trip. My mother has horrible motion sickness and did not want to go, so it was just a father/daughter day =] This is especially nice because my dad do NOT always see eye to eye and have a very hard time talking to each other without an interrogation by him or us fighting over whatever the hot topic is at the time. So, this day was going to be special. We got up at 5 a.m., I had a bagel and cream cheese for breakfast and off we went ready for a day out in the Gulf! We got out there to see a substitute captain but we didn't think anything of it nor even cared that much. Turns out, there was 8-10 ft. seas that day. I was the first one sick. The bagel went over the side (even my dramamine that I had taken moments before). After that, I was laying down on a covered area in the boat on a cushioned bench with a large bucket, and it was full...my DAD (who NEVER get's sick, and in my 23 years have only seen him sick twice,) even joined me once or twice which only made me sicker. Mind you, by this point I'm chucking stomach acid so it was bright yellow/orange, and burned my stomach and throat so bad I thought I swallowed fire. NOT pretty! I am not sure if it was part of the dramamine that was left in my system (if any,) or just me puking (literally) all day, that I actually passed out and didn't wake up until the END OF THE TRIP! This was at 6 p.m.! I later found out that everyone on the boat was sick and not a single person on that boat was fishing. Not only was this just sheer stupidity but also very dangerous because our boat could have capsized or someone could have gotten tossed over because the seas were so rough.
Long story short, I was on medicine for a year to correct the damage done to my stomach (pain was so bad I couldn't sleep many times,) I had nightmares of the event several times, and was afraid of being sick again and always got an anxiety attack every time I thought about getting back on a boat. So I haven't been on one since. My dad felt like it was his fault even though it wasn't. But, on Sunday God presented me with the opportunity to go out on the boat again with no way for me to make an excuse to get out of it (Thanks God...lol). I loved it! I still needed some dramamine, but only felt dizzy when we were still and kept getting hit by waves.
I am so happy that I finally went back out there. It made everyone so happy! I actually have pictures now to prove it hehe I'll have to post those soon. ^^ This all did have a point though I promise ;]
It is amazing how God will just stick you in a situation when you feel you aren't ready to face it. I prayed so much that day! It was insane! However, God got me through it and I had a fantastic day!! Let this be a lesson to you all: TRUST IN GOD! He knows what is best for us, and at what time we are ready to face whatever it is we need to face in our lives. What doesn't kill you only makes you stronger, and trust me! I feel stronger now, and I am able to enjoy more time with my family. We even found spots where people take the boat to a sandbar/beach deal and they camp out there!! So Danny and I have a new way to go out and spend time together!! I can't wait because it sounds like so much fun!
Well, this has gotten a LOT longer than I expected, so I think it's time to say goodbye for now ^^ I hope you all have a blessed day and I will see you as soon as I can!! Hopefully tonight or tomorrow.
<3 and Blessings!
And without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him.
Hebrews 11:6 (New International Version)
I know that lately I have been battling major stress and frustration, and it's starting to bring out my anger more and more. This I an actively trying to work on now. Only God can help me through that.
For those of you who were following me when I started this blog know it was intended to be a 40-day challenge to improve my faith in Christ (which I KNOW can't always be done in 40 days, but it was a good start for my self-discipline). As you can see, I sorta failed this part lol... in blogging and in my life. This stuff is NOT easy for anyone who thinks it is (unless of course you have a pastor/drill sergeant type dude screaming in your face all day every day ^^).
I DO know that since I have been away I have conquered my fear of boats ^^ YAY! For those of you who don't know I'll explain:
when I was a freshman in high school, my dad and I really enjoyed fishing together--even since I was a kid growing up in Virginia--it was just the way our family spent time together. Well, we wanted to go on a deep sea fishing trip. My mother has horrible motion sickness and did not want to go, so it was just a father/daughter day =] This is especially nice because my dad do NOT always see eye to eye and have a very hard time talking to each other without an interrogation by him or us fighting over whatever the hot topic is at the time. So, this day was going to be special. We got up at 5 a.m., I had a bagel and cream cheese for breakfast and off we went ready for a day out in the Gulf! We got out there to see a substitute captain but we didn't think anything of it nor even cared that much. Turns out, there was 8-10 ft. seas that day. I was the first one sick. The bagel went over the side (even my dramamine that I had taken moments before). After that, I was laying down on a covered area in the boat on a cushioned bench with a large bucket, and it was full...my DAD (who NEVER get's sick, and in my 23 years have only seen him sick twice,) even joined me once or twice which only made me sicker. Mind you, by this point I'm chucking stomach acid so it was bright yellow/orange, and burned my stomach and throat so bad I thought I swallowed fire. NOT pretty! I am not sure if it was part of the dramamine that was left in my system (if any,) or just me puking (literally) all day, that I actually passed out and didn't wake up until the END OF THE TRIP! This was at 6 p.m.! I later found out that everyone on the boat was sick and not a single person on that boat was fishing. Not only was this just sheer stupidity but also very dangerous because our boat could have capsized or someone could have gotten tossed over because the seas were so rough.
Long story short, I was on medicine for a year to correct the damage done to my stomach (pain was so bad I couldn't sleep many times,) I had nightmares of the event several times, and was afraid of being sick again and always got an anxiety attack every time I thought about getting back on a boat. So I haven't been on one since. My dad felt like it was his fault even though it wasn't. But, on Sunday God presented me with the opportunity to go out on the boat again with no way for me to make an excuse to get out of it (Thanks God...lol). I loved it! I still needed some dramamine, but only felt dizzy when we were still and kept getting hit by waves.
I am so happy that I finally went back out there. It made everyone so happy! I actually have pictures now to prove it hehe I'll have to post those soon. ^^ This all did have a point though I promise ;]
It is amazing how God will just stick you in a situation when you feel you aren't ready to face it. I prayed so much that day! It was insane! However, God got me through it and I had a fantastic day!! Let this be a lesson to you all: TRUST IN GOD! He knows what is best for us, and at what time we are ready to face whatever it is we need to face in our lives. What doesn't kill you only makes you stronger, and trust me! I feel stronger now, and I am able to enjoy more time with my family. We even found spots where people take the boat to a sandbar/beach deal and they camp out there!! So Danny and I have a new way to go out and spend time together!! I can't wait because it sounds like so much fun!
Well, this has gotten a LOT longer than I expected, so I think it's time to say goodbye for now ^^ I hope you all have a blessed day and I will see you as soon as I can!! Hopefully tonight or tomorrow.
<3 and Blessings!
And without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him.
Hebrews 11:6 (New International Version)
Friday, July 3, 2009
WOWZERS
OK, so the last couple days have been ridiculous. The last day I posted…yeah, it was BAD. Like, really BAD. It was like everything I had started working on this past week just came up to haunt me in a big way. I had zero tolerance, no patience, I was moody and agitated all day, and just had no desire to improve it. I wish I could blame my hormones for that, but that would be too much of a cop-out. Then, I was super busy this weekend with work, and when I got home Sunday morning, I had tons to do so I never got around to posting a follow-up OR a new day’s update. So I know I’m behind. However, it’s all here for you in this post ^^
It seems like the closer I get my relationship to God, whether by prayer or just merely doing what I said I would do for the day, the demons just lash out and rear their disgustingly ugly heads. It’s sad…and very frustrating. As supportive as he’s being though, Danny seems to be the one testing me the most. I don’t think it’s intentional at all, but merely just that the devil is trying to use him against me so I don’t think he’s supporting me. Of course, I am already hot on the devil’s trail and I know that he’s trying to use Danny against me so that is half the battle The other half of that battle would be to recognize it when it starts to happen (ie: when Danny starts pissing me the heck off…lols). It won’t be easy that’s for sure, but I know I can do more to combat it.
So, it’s a new week, and a new challenge. Let’s get back into the swing of things shall we??
Today I’ll work on not letting Danny get to me today, and to understand that the devil is using him unfairly against me to make me fall. This will an endless battle, but I need to face it today…head on…all by itself. We’ll see how it goes!
<3
Heavenly Father, I come to you today in a simple prayer. Please cover everyone (literally everyone) with your love, grace, wisdom, and endless protection Lord. I pray that you will help to keep my mind keen to all of the devil’s work to try and separate me from you Lord. I would also like to ask that you bless Danny, and protect him from any strongholds that the devil may have on him. Also, please bless him with this awesome job opportunity Father if it is your will. Should it not be your will, please help us to see what you have planned for us Oh Gracious Lord! Allow each and every one of us to constantly seek your blessing and anointing Father, and to sing of your awesomeness for all to hear. In Jesus’ name, AMEN.
But in your heats set apart Christ as Lord. Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect.
1 Peter 3:15 (New International Version)
It seems like the closer I get my relationship to God, whether by prayer or just merely doing what I said I would do for the day, the demons just lash out and rear their disgustingly ugly heads. It’s sad…and very frustrating. As supportive as he’s being though, Danny seems to be the one testing me the most. I don’t think it’s intentional at all, but merely just that the devil is trying to use him against me so I don’t think he’s supporting me. Of course, I am already hot on the devil’s trail and I know that he’s trying to use Danny against me so that is half the battle The other half of that battle would be to recognize it when it starts to happen (ie: when Danny starts pissing me the heck off…lols). It won’t be easy that’s for sure, but I know I can do more to combat it.
So, it’s a new week, and a new challenge. Let’s get back into the swing of things shall we??
Today I’ll work on not letting Danny get to me today, and to understand that the devil is using him unfairly against me to make me fall. This will an endless battle, but I need to face it today…head on…all by itself. We’ll see how it goes!
<3
Heavenly Father, I come to you today in a simple prayer. Please cover everyone (literally everyone) with your love, grace, wisdom, and endless protection Lord. I pray that you will help to keep my mind keen to all of the devil’s work to try and separate me from you Lord. I would also like to ask that you bless Danny, and protect him from any strongholds that the devil may have on him. Also, please bless him with this awesome job opportunity Father if it is your will. Should it not be your will, please help us to see what you have planned for us Oh Gracious Lord! Allow each and every one of us to constantly seek your blessing and anointing Father, and to sing of your awesomeness for all to hear. In Jesus’ name, AMEN.
But in your heats set apart Christ as Lord. Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect.
1 Peter 3:15 (New International Version)
Saturday, June 27, 2009
DAY SIX
Sooo...what's next you ask?
frankly kids, I don't have a clue! Let's think for a moment:
-worked on swearing
-patience
-not taking stuff personally
-anger issues
-and self-esteem improvement
now what?? As I sit here and think on it a bit, maybe I can withhold myself from saying negative things about people tomorrow. This will be especially hard, but it wouldn't really be a challenge if this stuff was easy now would it?? so there we go! my task for day six! Wish me luck!
i'll end with a prayer today:
Lord, God, I come to you in prayer asking that you bless me as i continue on this Journey. Lord, for anyone who should read about or hear about this blog, that they are touched Father; that they are inspired to call out to you in prayer and ask for forgiveness of their sins and for the strength, patience, and guidance to go on their own journey to improve themselves as I have charged myself to do as well. surround us all with your awesome power Father!! You are the Rock and our everlasting salvation!! Praise you, Lord for all that you do. Forgive me of my sins today Dear lord as I embark on my next day of spiritual and emotional improvement. Help me to be closer to you Lord. I also pray that you can bless Danny, Father as he awaits a phone call from a prospective job offer Lord. finally Lord, I pray for EVERYONE!!! Literally EVERYONE that if they have fallen on hard times to hold them steady on their feet Lord and keep them strong and help to carry them through those hard times. Lord I will SING of YOUR LOVE FOREVER!!!! praise you Father for your endless love!
In Christ's name,
AMEN!
frankly kids, I don't have a clue! Let's think for a moment:
-worked on swearing
-patience
-not taking stuff personally
-anger issues
-and self-esteem improvement
now what?? As I sit here and think on it a bit, maybe I can withhold myself from saying negative things about people tomorrow. This will be especially hard, but it wouldn't really be a challenge if this stuff was easy now would it?? so there we go! my task for day six! Wish me luck!
i'll end with a prayer today:
Lord, God, I come to you in prayer asking that you bless me as i continue on this Journey. Lord, for anyone who should read about or hear about this blog, that they are touched Father; that they are inspired to call out to you in prayer and ask for forgiveness of their sins and for the strength, patience, and guidance to go on their own journey to improve themselves as I have charged myself to do as well. surround us all with your awesome power Father!! You are the Rock and our everlasting salvation!! Praise you, Lord for all that you do. Forgive me of my sins today Dear lord as I embark on my next day of spiritual and emotional improvement. Help me to be closer to you Lord. I also pray that you can bless Danny, Father as he awaits a phone call from a prospective job offer Lord. finally Lord, I pray for EVERYONE!!! Literally EVERYONE that if they have fallen on hard times to hold them steady on their feet Lord and keep them strong and help to carry them through those hard times. Lord I will SING of YOUR LOVE FOREVER!!!! praise you Father for your endless love!
In Christ's name,
AMEN!
DAY FIVE - follow up
So, I think I did OK in this area today!!! I may have had a moment earlier today, but that was about it. no other reasons for anything like this to rear its ugly head ^^ this is good!!
Danny is being so supportive! he prayed again at lunch today!!! HOLY COW!! What has gotten into him? I'm almost wondering if this is for show, but if he knew I thought that at all, then he would surely be upset with me. perhaps it IS genuine...but in these last few years, i have become something of a skeptic and a pessimist--well, more than I used to be, and that's saying a lot (if you know me at all anyway).
not feeling too great atm so I'm going to keep this short. gotta start thinking of what to do for tomorrow! I won't be able to follow up until the following morning for day six, but I think that will work out OK anyway. Gonna be busy this weekend! Stay tuned for day six!! Remember!! comments are welcome as are any suggestions for future challenges!! HURRY! I'm already running out of ideas!!!
Blessings!
-Dawn
What good is it for a man to gain the whole world, yet forfeit his soul?
Mark 8:36
Danny is being so supportive! he prayed again at lunch today!!! HOLY COW!! What has gotten into him? I'm almost wondering if this is for show, but if he knew I thought that at all, then he would surely be upset with me. perhaps it IS genuine...but in these last few years, i have become something of a skeptic and a pessimist--well, more than I used to be, and that's saying a lot (if you know me at all anyway).
not feeling too great atm so I'm going to keep this short. gotta start thinking of what to do for tomorrow! I won't be able to follow up until the following morning for day six, but I think that will work out OK anyway. Gonna be busy this weekend! Stay tuned for day six!! Remember!! comments are welcome as are any suggestions for future challenges!! HURRY! I'm already running out of ideas!!!
Blessings!
-Dawn
What good is it for a man to gain the whole world, yet forfeit his soul?
Mark 8:36
Friday, June 26, 2009
DAY FIVE
Well, today is off to a not-so-good start. I just woke up...forgot to post last night and danny is mad at me because I almost knocked over the dog food. I heard his phone ringing and dove on the bed to get it b/c i thought that is what he wanted when he actually wanted me to hold the bag of food and it tipped over. nothing spilled out, almost but it didn't...and he screams at me. go figure. So i'm not in the best mood at the moment.
Anyway, I have a new assignment for today so i need to focus. Perhaps not to take things so personally today. i'll give that a shot ;)
This a short post b/c I have activities to attend to for my day off today ^^ Hopefully things will get better...and hopefully I can bring myself to not be angry anymore. which will be hard to do because i'm quite mad at the moment. Just need to try and breathe is all.
have a blessed day everyone!!
<33
Anyway, I have a new assignment for today so i need to focus. Perhaps not to take things so personally today. i'll give that a shot ;)
This a short post b/c I have activities to attend to for my day off today ^^ Hopefully things will get better...and hopefully I can bring myself to not be angry anymore. which will be hard to do because i'm quite mad at the moment. Just need to try and breathe is all.
have a blessed day everyone!!
<33
DAY FOUR - Follow Up
OK, so this was kind of an uneventful day. I wasn't a downer on myself at all today (ok i think once, and i did come up with 2 good things to counter it,) but other than that I never seriously dissed myself. maybe all in a joking way (and it was sincerely meant that way) but overall, this was a kinda nil day. I did swear some more than the last few days...it's all pent up in my system and i worked at Subway today (which i swear brings out all my demons...) not an excuse for my behavior, but i see it as the only real reason for it happening. Oh well, i'll never stop working on that!
That's what I love about this project. I take a day to focus on one aspect of my life that needs correcting, but just because the day is over, doesn't mean I stop working on correcting myself!! I love this!! so even if today was kinda uneventful in this department, I'll continue to do this throughout the project!
I will be thinking about what to do for tomorrow, and I'll post on it tonight before bed, but I need some time to think. ^^ comment guys!! I really enjoy hearing for you! even ideas for future days will be great!
Blessings!
-Dawn
He answered: "'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind'; and, 'Love your neighbor as yourself.'"
Luke 10:27 (NIV)
That's what I love about this project. I take a day to focus on one aspect of my life that needs correcting, but just because the day is over, doesn't mean I stop working on correcting myself!! I love this!! so even if today was kinda uneventful in this department, I'll continue to do this throughout the project!
I will be thinking about what to do for tomorrow, and I'll post on it tonight before bed, but I need some time to think. ^^ comment guys!! I really enjoy hearing for you! even ideas for future days will be great!
Blessings!
-Dawn
He answered: "'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind'; and, 'Love your neighbor as yourself.'"
Luke 10:27 (NIV)
Thursday, June 25, 2009
DAY FOUR
well, after some careful deliberation with my good buddy Mel, I figured out my task for today. Today will be my self-esteem improvement day. I have a feeling this will take a while to fully master, but i think I can manage it.
so here's the deal: for every negative thought i have about myself, I will correct it by acknowledging TWO genuine and positive counter-thoughts about myself. For example:
thought:
"I suck at life." (negative)
Counter-thoughts:
"I am loved by someone who appreciates and respects me for who I am, as I am."
"i have the body of a Greek Goddess." (lol...well, truthfully I do if you ever look at ancient sculptures and how they aren't skinny...they have super curvy bodies because the royals were fed well and it was a sign of wealth by how well-fed you looked while peasants were skinny and emaciated looking....i digress rotfl! xD)
anyway, sothat's the idea for today. I'll post after work late tonight (job 2) and tell you how it goes!
Blessings!!! <3333
so here's the deal: for every negative thought i have about myself, I will correct it by acknowledging TWO genuine and positive counter-thoughts about myself. For example:
thought:
"I suck at life." (negative)
Counter-thoughts:
"I am loved by someone who appreciates and respects me for who I am, as I am."
"i have the body of a Greek Goddess." (lol...well, truthfully I do if you ever look at ancient sculptures and how they aren't skinny...they have super curvy bodies because the royals were fed well and it was a sign of wealth by how well-fed you looked while peasants were skinny and emaciated looking....i digress rotfl! xD)
anyway, sothat's the idea for today. I'll post after work late tonight (job 2) and tell you how it goes!
Blessings!!! <3333
DAY THREE- FOLLOW UP
Good evening guys!!
So glad to see you all are reading this! It makes me so happy!! ^^
Well, first I want to clarify that when danny came to visit me, it was at work in Holiday. I basically have a graveyard shift of sorts and it gets lonely and boring with no internets. so yeah, Yay, Danny!
As far as my patience today...I had a few moments. However, overall I would say it was a rather successful day!! When I noticed myself getting a little hyper, I took a moment to just tell myself to stop being so nuts and to calm down. This helped my anger and if I did get angry (which I wasn't enraged, but miffed I guess,) It left quickly! This is a feat for me which I am happy to say was wonderful to have gone so well today! Danny is also trying hard to support me which is awesome ^^
I slipped a few times today with the swearing though, but caught myself I think all but one time. Actually, I said one word tonight (the "D" word,) and i knew that I had said it but was too tired and lazy to correct myself. I DID make a mental note though (hope that counts??? lols) Trying to work on all of these things simultaneously is hard, but I think I am up to the challenge! I just have to keep in mind that each new task works off of the earlier ones so it's all one big package in the end ya know?
anyway, enough chit chat. time for day four!! Yes, Day four already...after all, it IS technically thursday now ^^
<33
Do not deceive yourselves. If any one of you thinks he is wise by the standards of this age, he should become a "fool" so that he may become wise. For the wisdom of this world is foolishness in God's sight. As it is written: "He catches the wise in their craftiness"; and again, "The Lord knows that the thoughts of the wise are futile."
1 Corinthians 3:18-20
So glad to see you all are reading this! It makes me so happy!! ^^
Well, first I want to clarify that when danny came to visit me, it was at work in Holiday. I basically have a graveyard shift of sorts and it gets lonely and boring with no internets. so yeah, Yay, Danny!
As far as my patience today...I had a few moments. However, overall I would say it was a rather successful day!! When I noticed myself getting a little hyper, I took a moment to just tell myself to stop being so nuts and to calm down. This helped my anger and if I did get angry (which I wasn't enraged, but miffed I guess,) It left quickly! This is a feat for me which I am happy to say was wonderful to have gone so well today! Danny is also trying hard to support me which is awesome ^^
I slipped a few times today with the swearing though, but caught myself I think all but one time. Actually, I said one word tonight (the "D" word,) and i knew that I had said it but was too tired and lazy to correct myself. I DID make a mental note though (hope that counts??? lols) Trying to work on all of these things simultaneously is hard, but I think I am up to the challenge! I just have to keep in mind that each new task works off of the earlier ones so it's all one big package in the end ya know?
anyway, enough chit chat. time for day four!! Yes, Day four already...after all, it IS technically thursday now ^^
<33
Do not deceive yourselves. If any one of you thinks he is wise by the standards of this age, he should become a "fool" so that he may become wise. For the wisdom of this world is foolishness in God's sight. As it is written: "He catches the wise in their craftiness"; and again, "The Lord knows that the thoughts of the wise are futile."
1 Corinthians 3:18-20
Wednesday, June 24, 2009
DAY THREE
OK, so now I'm not sure what to do. Maybe patience seems to be a good topic. I tend to lose my patience more nowadays and I am not sure why. Danny certainly tests it (that's his job I guess rotfl! xD) I love him so much so it balances itself out ;)
he came to visit me last night!! WHOO! I was half expecting it kinda but i wasn't banking on it. Made me forget my agitation from today tho so it was really nice to have him there. Poor baby is exhausted now.
anywho, my main project is to work on my patience today...to stop and breathe before my mind goes nuts. This will help with day two's assignment as well...just going to take some practice.
Keep those posts coming guys! I really looks forward to them!! Thanks for all your support!!
Blessings!
-D
he came to visit me last night!! WHOO! I was half expecting it kinda but i wasn't banking on it. Made me forget my agitation from today tho so it was really nice to have him there. Poor baby is exhausted now.
anywho, my main project is to work on my patience today...to stop and breathe before my mind goes nuts. This will help with day two's assignment as well...just going to take some practice.
Keep those posts coming guys! I really looks forward to them!! Thanks for all your support!!
Blessings!
-D
Day Two follow up!
Well, it is the end of day two! Work kept me from posting this last night, but at least this time I followed up in the morning instead of midday lols. Anyway, as for the anger thing…I don’t think I did so hot -.- I was quite agitated all day and not even really knowing why. Just everything (including Danny) annoyed me and I didn’t want to deal with it. I could just blame it on my hormones (those pesky little buggers,) but that just makes me sound like I’m making excuses. Good thing I’m wrapping these things around to the next days because if today was my only day to master this not-getting-angry thing, I would have failed miserably. However, the no swearing thing went pretty well today! I still have a major temptation, and oftentimes certain words will just form in my brain and want to come out on my tongue but I fought hard to prevent this from happening! yay me ^^
I’m so happy to be getting all these messages about how people are inspired or moved by my blog!! I prayed for that to happen but I never thought in a million year that anyone would actually respond to it at all especially so quickly! Oh, how God moves mountains!! I think this has gotten at least one person so far to try her luck at a similar idea for herself (Yay Angela! I’m praying for you!!! ^^). I also encourage anyone else to pray for those who have taken the challenge as well. I can say that just after 2 days I am being bombarded with temptation and direct frustration towards the very things I am trying to face. So we need some prayer warriors peeps!
It’s funny though, and perhaps what I feared would be the most difficult thing about doing this was talking to Danny about it. Before I made my second post today he found out about the blog and was upset that I didn’t tell him. Of course he has good reason, but I guess I was scared to tell him what I was doing because I know where he stands at the moment spiritually…pretty much between a rock and a hard place I think. Just have to continue to pray for him now!
It's so awesome tho because we went to breakfast after our talk, and you won't believe what he did! HE PRAYED BEFORE HIS MEAL! i was shocked (as were sean and jessie) and i almost didn't know what to do. not sure what his intentions were but he did it at least. That's a start!
This is too long already so on to day three's post!
Finally, all of you, live in harmony with one another; be sympathetic, love as brothers, be compassionate and humble.
1 Peter 3:8 (Read all of 1 Peter 3)
New International Version
<3
I’m so happy to be getting all these messages about how people are inspired or moved by my blog!! I prayed for that to happen but I never thought in a million year that anyone would actually respond to it at all especially so quickly! Oh, how God moves mountains!! I think this has gotten at least one person so far to try her luck at a similar idea for herself (Yay Angela! I’m praying for you!!! ^^). I also encourage anyone else to pray for those who have taken the challenge as well. I can say that just after 2 days I am being bombarded with temptation and direct frustration towards the very things I am trying to face. So we need some prayer warriors peeps!
It’s funny though, and perhaps what I feared would be the most difficult thing about doing this was talking to Danny about it. Before I made my second post today he found out about the blog and was upset that I didn’t tell him. Of course he has good reason, but I guess I was scared to tell him what I was doing because I know where he stands at the moment spiritually…pretty much between a rock and a hard place I think. Just have to continue to pray for him now!
It's so awesome tho because we went to breakfast after our talk, and you won't believe what he did! HE PRAYED BEFORE HIS MEAL! i was shocked (as were sean and jessie) and i almost didn't know what to do. not sure what his intentions were but he did it at least. That's a start!
This is too long already so on to day three's post!
Finally, all of you, live in harmony with one another; be sympathetic, love as brothers, be compassionate and humble.
1 Peter 3:8 (Read all of 1 Peter 3)
New International Version
<3
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
DAY TWO!
OK so I learned something today...I think this is going to be a hard day but I'm going to try. I'm NOT going to get mad. I WILL control my temper! This goes back to what Diane told me...how Anger equals Danger. I remember this, but it is really hard to practice. So, on top of trying to not swear today, I will try and control my temper. Danny found out what I was doing kind of and wants to know about it. Honestly, I'm scared to because the last few times I have talked to him about anything related to God and how he has worked in my life, he kinda doesn't seem interested and changes the subject. he said he doesn't do that, but maybe either I'm misinterpreting it or he doesn't really realize what he's doing. I guess I have to face it today.
I made it easy for me to read daily verses by getting them in my e-mail now lol, so I don't have to go mindlessly searching for one hehe. Maybe that defeats the purpose but I never said where I would get the verses ^^
anyway, that's day two!! The follow up will have to wait until tomorrow morning because I'm working at Happy's tonight and there is no internet there -.-
Thanks for the posts guys! much appreciated!! *hugs*
Blessings! <3333333333
I made it easy for me to read daily verses by getting them in my e-mail now lol, so I don't have to go mindlessly searching for one hehe. Maybe that defeats the purpose but I never said where I would get the verses ^^
anyway, that's day two!! The follow up will have to wait until tomorrow morning because I'm working at Happy's tonight and there is no internet there -.-
Thanks for the posts guys! much appreciated!! *hugs*
Blessings! <3333333333
Day one- FOLLOW UP
OK, so I'm a bit late...it was a busy day yesterday!
went to work and school late last night then had to pick up jessie and sean from the airport from their honeymoon ^^ It's so great to have them back! It was weird having them gone for a week.
Anyway, I did OK yesterday...Hey, they didn't build Rome in a day ya know. I got mad about something my brother did (still angry btw...) but yeah so I really went off, then got mad at myself because of what I did. LOL. for the rest of the day I did OK though. Then the evening came around and it got kinda bad again. Danny and I got into a bad fight (we are OK now ^^) but it was rough. However, I think i can challenge myself to do better today. I'm doing well so far ;)
My verse for day one:
How can a young man keep his way pure? By living according to your word.
Psalm 119:9 (Read all of Psalm 119)
New International Version
Stay tuned for DAY TWO! (yes, I know it's half over but better late than never!)
<3
went to work and school late last night then had to pick up jessie and sean from the airport from their honeymoon ^^ It's so great to have them back! It was weird having them gone for a week.
Anyway, I did OK yesterday...Hey, they didn't build Rome in a day ya know. I got mad about something my brother did (still angry btw...) but yeah so I really went off, then got mad at myself because of what I did. LOL. for the rest of the day I did OK though. Then the evening came around and it got kinda bad again. Danny and I got into a bad fight (we are OK now ^^) but it was rough. However, I think i can challenge myself to do better today. I'm doing well so far ;)
My verse for day one:
How can a young man keep his way pure? By living according to your word.
Psalm 119:9 (Read all of Psalm 119)
New International Version
Stay tuned for DAY TWO! (yes, I know it's half over but better late than never!)
<3
Monday, June 22, 2009
DAY ONE
So begins the start of something new, something challenging. I’m not sure how well I’ll be able to execute this, but I have to try. After all, why would I bother wasting my time on a project like this if I didn’t think it would be better for me??
Of course, I can’t take TOTAL credit for this idea—It is a form of the idea used in the movie Fireproof which was an excellent movie by the way—but I’m glad it gave me something to apply it to, just in a different way. So begins the challenge: To live a more fulfilling, and spirit-led life. This goes for EVERYTHING: my attitude, how I organize myself, and my marriage, among other things. I mean I wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for God Almighty! Since I have been working with Happy, I have felt the presence of God in my life more than anything, but I have yet to really and honestly apply it to my daily routine. Perhaps by my example this will awaken Danny as well. As wonderful as science is, I’m afraid he is losing sight of how great and awesome God really is. Perhaps he’s not. In fact, maybe he has it right on target…but I miss my prayerful husband. I remember (my first big testimony of God’s power mind you,) I suddenly fell ill with dizziness and nausea, and Kioshi escaped from his cage and was in a panic (yes, I could tell). Well, Danny was at my side praying for and with me right away, and anointing our home to keep out any evil among us. Not 15 minutes later did things go back to normal—Kioshi calm and back in his cage and me well again. Praise God for that wonderful moment! I wish I could see more of that—more of Danny as my prayer warrior that is…and also me as his, but there is not enough of this in our home; next to none unfortunately.
I digress. This isn’t about Danny after all. This is for me. I need to take a stand in my own life before I can even think about trying to change someone else’s. Not that it’s my place to do so that is. I pray that God will help me sort this out. Maybe it will take 40 days or 4 years. No matter how long it will take, this is something I HAVE to do. I can feel my soul aching for it, but my flesh is holding me back something fierce.
My problem? I know how wonderful God is, but I just don’t show it. There is a big difference between knowing the Truth and LIVING this Truth. I have this all in mind, but now I need to act on it and that is my hugest downfall. When Danny and I fight I know I should hold my tongue instead of firing it like a whip with horrible and hurtful words. I know that Anger=Danger (Thank you Diane for telling about that…I can’t get angry now without thinking of this!!) I have been saved since 2002-2003—my junior year of high school (thank you, Anka for sharing this moment with me!) Since then it has been a roller coaster ride of events that have shaped me as the person I have become today. I have certainly changed for the better in many ways, but I still hold on to a lot of my old self…my old sins.
I feel like these sins are just trying to hang on for dear life, and I am letting them. Why have I not had the motivation to change this?? You would think that with this newfound revelation of God’s glory that I would change those things in a heartbeat, but I haven’t. In a lot of things in my life I have lacked the motivation *cough* exercising *cough*. That is where this whole thing comes into play. Starting today, I will make the decision to do one new prayerful and Godly thing today…to live as Christ lives in all of us. It will take many baby steps, but I think once I get going, it will still be hard yet very rewarding the whole way through. Who knows, maybe this diary will turn into a 365-day diary instead of a 40-day one. But I’m getting ahead of myself.
So this is how this is going to work: I will start with today and explain what I am to do today to improve my life each day. Either at the end of the day or the following day, I will do a follow up post on how well I did, and how it all went. I will also try and read a scripture each day and post that as well…hopefully something related to the task I had to do for that particular day. My major challenge will be to keep this up of course, but I think I can do it!! For those of you who pray (and especially for those of you who don’t,) please pray for me as I go on this journey!! Who knows, this may inspire you to start a journal of your own! ^^
Today, I will begin by trying NOT to swear! At all!! I would suggest a swear jar, but I don’t carry much money on me, so I’ll have to find another way to keep myself in check ;) Perhaps for every trash word I use, I’ll have Danny smack my arm. If I tell him to go Pavlov on me, maybe I can get him to participate LOL! So there you go!! I’ll post later today to let you know now it went!!
Love and Blessings, Bloggers! Please comment too! Any support, prayers, and other comments are welcome.
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