Oi....

Yeah...so...It's been forever I know! I am so sorry guys. I really have been busy lately. School has taken a lot of my free time (facebook is only in the background guys I promise lol...besides, it's a good break for me ;] )

I know that lately I have been battling major stress and frustration, and it's starting to bring out my anger more and more. This I an actively trying to work on now. Only God can help me through that.

For those of you who were following me when I started this blog know it was intended to be a 40-day challenge to improve my faith in Christ (which I KNOW can't always be done in 40 days, but it was a good start for my self-discipline). As you can see, I sorta failed this part lol... in blogging and in my life. This stuff is NOT easy for anyone who thinks it is (unless of course you have a pastor/drill sergeant type dude screaming in your face all day every day ^^).

I DO know that since I have been away I have conquered my fear of boats ^^ YAY! For those of you who don't know I'll explain:

when I was a freshman in high school, my dad and I really enjoyed fishing together--even since I was a kid growing up in Virginia--it was just the way our family spent time together. Well, we wanted to go on a deep sea fishing trip. My mother has horrible motion sickness and did not want to go, so it was just a father/daughter day =] This is especially nice because my dad do NOT always see eye to eye and have a very hard time talking to each other without an interrogation by him or us fighting over whatever the hot topic is at the time. So, this day was going to be special. We got up at 5 a.m., I had a bagel and cream cheese for breakfast and off we went ready for a day out in the Gulf! We got out there to see a substitute captain but we didn't think anything of it nor even cared that much. Turns out, there was 8-10 ft. seas that day. I was the first one sick. The bagel went over the side (even my dramamine that I had taken moments before). After that, I was laying down on a covered area in the boat on a cushioned bench with a large bucket, and it was full...my DAD (who NEVER get's sick, and in my 23 years have only seen him sick twice,) even joined me once or twice which only made me sicker. Mind you, by this point I'm chucking stomach acid so it was bright yellow/orange, and burned my stomach and throat so bad I thought I swallowed fire. NOT pretty! I am not sure if it was part of the dramamine that was left in my system (if any,) or just me puking (literally) all day, that I actually passed out and didn't wake up until the END OF THE TRIP! This was at 6 p.m.! I later found out that everyone on the boat was sick and not a single person on that boat was fishing. Not only was this just sheer stupidity but also very dangerous because our boat could have capsized or someone could have gotten tossed over because the seas were so rough.

Long story short, I was on medicine for a year to correct the damage done to my stomach (pain was so bad I couldn't sleep many times,) I had nightmares of the event several times, and was afraid of being sick again and always got an anxiety attack every time I thought about getting back on a boat. So I haven't been on one since. My dad felt like it was his fault even though it wasn't. But, on Sunday God presented me with the opportunity to go out on the boat again with no way for me to make an excuse to get out of it (Thanks God...lol). I loved it! I still needed some dramamine, but only felt dizzy when we were still and kept getting hit by waves.

I am so happy that I finally went back out there. It made everyone so happy! I actually have pictures now to prove it hehe I'll have to post those soon. ^^ This all did have a point though I promise ;]

It is amazing how God will just stick you in a situation when you feel you aren't ready to face it. I prayed so much that day! It was insane! However, God got me through it and I had a fantastic day!! Let this be a lesson to you all: TRUST IN GOD! He knows what is best for us, and at what time we are ready to face whatever it is we need to face in our lives. What doesn't kill you only makes you stronger, and trust me! I feel stronger now, and I am able to enjoy more time with my family. We even found spots where people take the boat to a sandbar/beach deal and they camp out there!! So Danny and I have a new way to go out and spend time together!! I can't wait because it sounds like so much fun!

Well, this has gotten a LOT longer than I expected, so I think it's time to say goodbye for now ^^ I hope you all have a blessed day and I will see you as soon as I can!! Hopefully tonight or tomorrow.


<3 and Blessings!


And without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him.

Hebrews 11:6 (New International Version)