GAH!

I knew there was a reason I said I did NOT want to have any children while I was still in school! This crap is just too darn stressful! Thankfully, I will be done with ALL classes and school (FOREVER) by the end of the month! YAY! Then, I can focus on what has been bogging my mind down: My first baby!!!! AHHHH!!!

Who would have thought that ME...DAWN GOODEN...would be having a child. It's unreal really. Just a few years ago, I was hell bent on declaring that my womb would not fulfill its purpose (and I was PERFECTLY fine with that!) However, since I got married to Danny, more and more I felt like something was missing. I wanted to have that experience of carrying a child!

**WHAT has gotten into me?!**

This was NOT the brain of my former self talking. Something in me changed, and I have no idea when or why. Perhaps I felt like the love Danny and I shared was not being conveyed, or maybe I felt that it was just one of those things I had to do now because I'm married. Whatever the reason, I'm happy about it =] Our money situation is not ideal for raising a child right now, but this did NOT happen by our will. I am confident when I say that this was ALL GOD. Who else could allow me to be pregnant and finish school with time to spare before our baby arrives? I couldn't have timed it better if I tried! So, I know for a fact that this blessing was from God alone. Only HE knows what is right and what is best for us. Only HE can give us what we need when we need it, and I feel like we have been truly blessed with everything so far.

We can keep our house, we both have good jobs (with decent income) and not to mention a great support system of friends and family who are there to help us! Thank you all. You don't know how much I love you all for your support. That right there is the TRUE blessing. =]

I know the morning I found out I was pregnant, I was terrified, angry, depressed...just miserable. I surrounded myself with all the negative aspects of me having a baby right now, and every reason why it's wrong for it to happen now. I thought 'why couldn't this just wait until after school or after we got our finances in order? we aren't mature enough for this, or ready by any standards!'

But later that day I realized that I had promised God years ago that I would trust in Him, and that whatever he allowed to happen, would happen with his covering and his protection. I put my trust in Him, and for a moment I had forgotten that I trusted him so much. I needed to remember my promise, and let God take the reins. I'm glad I did because just in that 1st week we were showered with so many blessings and wonderful things, that it just wouldn't have worked out without God. I know that now! I am so grateful every day that the Lord has blessed me with an easy pregnancy, a healthy baby boy (well, as he is right now lol,) and with big plans for our future.

So now, I'm graduating in about a month, I'll get my diploma, have an awesome baby shower, see my house become a home, and have my baby...my beautiful son who is created with God's love, and is a symbol of how much Danny and I love each other. As angry as me makes me most of the time (and I'm talking 99.99% here,) I couldn't imagine my life without him. I know deep in my heart that I need him, and I would be half the woman I am today without him at my side. Not to mention that I can see the amazing father he will become, and how happy he will be =]

Thank you, Father for these things. Today...despite all the stress of a messy house (that I'm not allowed to clean lol,) my poor cat (who is currently stitched up after getting fixed yesterday,) and the last few weeks of school, I am blessed to have these things, and to have the satisfaction that I know that I will be marking off so many milestones in such a short time.

Praise you, Lord for I am blessed ^^