DAY ONE

So begins the start of something new, something challenging. I’m not sure how well I’ll be able to execute this, but I have to try. After all, why would I bother wasting my time on a project like this if I didn’t think it would be better for me??

Of course, I can’t take TOTAL credit for this idea—It is a form of the idea used in the movie Fireproof which was an excellent movie by the way—but I’m glad it gave me something to apply it to, just in a different way. So begins the challenge: To live a more fulfilling, and spirit-led life. This goes for EVERYTHING: my attitude, how I organize myself, and my marriage, among other things. I mean I wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for God Almighty! Since I have been working with Happy, I have felt the presence of God in my life more than anything, but I have yet to really and honestly apply it to my daily routine. Perhaps by my example this will awaken Danny as well. As wonderful as science is, I’m afraid he is losing sight of how great and awesome God really is. Perhaps he’s not. In fact, maybe he has it right on target…but I miss my prayerful husband. I remember (my first big testimony of God’s power mind you,) I suddenly fell ill with dizziness and nausea, and Kioshi escaped from his cage and was in a panic (yes, I could tell). Well, Danny was at my side praying for and with me right away, and anointing our home to keep out any evil among us. Not 15 minutes later did things go back to normal—Kioshi calm and back in his cage and me well again. Praise God for that wonderful moment! I wish I could see more of that—more of Danny as my prayer warrior that is…and also me as his, but there is not enough of this in our home; next to none unfortunately.

I digress. This isn’t about Danny after all. This is for me. I need to take a stand in my own life before I can even think about trying to change someone else’s. Not that it’s my place to do so that is. I pray that God will help me sort this out. Maybe it will take 40 days or 4 years. No matter how long it will take, this is something I HAVE to do. I can feel my soul aching for it, but my flesh is holding me back something fierce.

My problem? I know how wonderful God is, but I just don’t show it. There is a big difference between knowing the Truth and LIVING this Truth. I have this all in mind, but now I need to act on it and that is my hugest downfall. When Danny and I fight I know I should hold my tongue instead of firing it like a whip with horrible and hurtful words. I know that Anger=Danger (Thank you Diane for telling about that…I can’t get angry now without thinking of this!!) I have been saved since 2002-2003—my junior year of high school (thank you, Anka for sharing this moment with me!) Since then it has been a roller coaster ride of events that have shaped me as the person I have become today. I have certainly changed for the better in many ways, but I still hold on to a lot of my old self…my old sins.

I feel like these sins are just trying to hang on for dear life, and I am letting them. Why have I not had the motivation to change this?? You would think that with this newfound revelation of God’s glory that I would change those things in a heartbeat, but I haven’t. In a lot of things in my life I have lacked the motivation *cough* exercising *cough*. That is where this whole thing comes into play. Starting today, I will make the decision to do one new prayerful and Godly thing today…to live as Christ lives in all of us. It will take many baby steps, but I think once I get going, it will still be hard yet very rewarding the whole way through. Who knows, maybe this diary will turn into a 365-day diary instead of a 40-day one. But I’m getting ahead of myself.

So this is how this is going to work: I will start with today and explain what I am to do today to improve my life each day. Either at the end of the day or the following day, I will do a follow up post on how well I did, and how it all went. I will also try and read a scripture each day and post that as well…hopefully something related to the task I had to do for that particular day. My major challenge will be to keep this up of course, but I think I can do it!! For those of you who pray (and especially for those of you who don’t,) please pray for me as I go on this journey!! Who knows, this may inspire you to start a journal of your own! ^^

Today, I will begin by trying NOT to swear! At all!! I would suggest a swear jar, but I don’t carry much money on me, so I’ll have to find another way to keep myself in check ;) Perhaps for every trash word I use, I’ll have Danny smack my arm. If I tell him to go Pavlov on me, maybe I can get him to participate LOL! So there you go!! I’ll post later today to let you know now it went!!

Love and Blessings, Bloggers! Please comment too! Any support, prayers, and other comments are welcome.